i once was somebodies pretty
wore neroi and rose absolute.
season of pearls and cashmere,
cinnamon in the brandy

crumbling under his touch,
fingers between my legs I quivered
wanted more
sweeter than honey spun baklava   

i believed
the sun went down in october
by late winter i was a heathen
the winds howled, sounded like war

i could relate   

now I walk the streets of chinatown
and try to kick the mean reds
the ocean pulls back and
it is too far to wade in the water

i sit on granite and line up bullwhip,
circular stones
waterlogged feather for a flag
my home   

i forget my tongues, tossing the family name  
into the fire pit – moving on
forked lightening
there is sacrifice in the ferns

where lacking wings i crawl   

he wanted to meet the whore in me
then make her disappear  
me disappear
good bye   

‘til I am at the kitchen table
looking at grocery ads
no wonder i will leave you
driving   

through   

Published in  Poetrybay July 2016