What have you been working on?

¹ “Mothers Who Taught Daughters to Vanish” (2024)² “Alnus rubra: A Study in Penetration” (2024)³ Lakota Lineage Teachings, oral tradition, pre-contact⁴ “Things I Do That Look Like Self-Care But Aren’t” (2024)⁵ Traditional Lakota Numerology & Boundary Protocols⁶ “Scent as Sorcery: What the Clients Never Knew” (2024)⁷ “Grief for the Akpon” (2024)⁸ “Living Off Mezcal, Hash and Popcorn for Months” (personal correspondence, 2024)⁹ “Cross-Starred” (2024)¹⁰ Cante Maza (Iron Heart), Lakota concept, meaning varies by speaker

I’ve been working on disappearing / learning
to walk through rooms without anyone
remembering I was there / perfecting
the art of arriving late / leaving early /
owing nothing¹
I’ve been studying alder roots / how they fuck
bacteria into submission / make poison
into food / Frankia knows / some partnerships
require penetration²
Working on not apologizing / mothers
taught me this / three languages / one suitcase /
the greyhound schedule memorized / doors
that don’t lock from the outside³
I’ve been burning bay leaves / my neighbor
thinks I’m praying / I’m not / I’m working
on becoming unfixable / a bike
with a broken chain / left on the street /
rusting clean⁴
Working on this: when someone says
they’re done four times / I take them
at their word / Lakota math / sacred
numbers don’t lie / I don’t beg⁵
I’ve been distilling henbane / the dose
that opens doors you can’t close / working
on being the kind of person who knows
the difference / uses it anyway⁶
Working on grief without redemption / my husband’s
batá drums face the wall / I don’t play them /
don’t sell them / let them sit / silence
is ceremony too⁷
I’ve been practicing: ice baths that look
like self-care / aren’t / mezcal / hash / popcorn /
calling it dinner for months / the algorithm
loves a wellness lie⁸
Working on cross-starred love / the kind
with no resolution / birds become compass points /
we don’t touch / the stars arranged it /
I write it down anyway⁹
What have I been working on? / this: /
not answering questions / keeping
what’s sacred / letting strangers
think I’m rude / contrary / cante maza /
iron heart / I’ve been working
on that¹⁰