What could you do less of?

¹ Braverman, K. “The Cartography of Refusal,” Palm Latitudes (1988)² Institute for Indigenous Boundary Sciences, “The Mathematics of Enough” (unpublished field notes, pre-contact)³ Algorithm Studies Quarterly, “On Digital Performance and Epsom Salt Lies” Vol. 47, No. 3 (2024)⁴ Sacred Numbers Collective, When Four Becomes One: A Treatise on Earlier Departure (2024)⁵ Matrilineal Departure Studies, “Greyhound Schedules as Genetic Memory” (ongoing research, 1491-present)⁶ Mezcal & Epistemology Research Group, “Simultaneous Forgetting/Remembering: An Oaxacan Framework” (2019)⁷ Plains Contrary Medicine Archives, “Backwards is a Direction, Not a Diagnosis” (oral tradition, various sources)⁸ Fluvial Philosophy Institute, “Rivers Don’t Give a Fuck About Your Compass” (2023)⁹ Neighborhood Theological Misunderstandings Database, “Bay Leaf Smoke as Accidental Prayer” (ongoing documentation)¹⁰ Personal Library Warfare Studies, “Mezcal as Literary Criticism: A Methodology” (experimental phase, 2022-present)¹¹ Digital Starvation Protocols, “Feeding Algorithms Mezcal and Watching Them Crash” (forthcoming)¹² Manifesto for Possession: Writing as Ritual and Haunting, with addendum “Except the Mezcal: A Footnote on Honesty” (2024)

I could do less explaining-
why I left / why I don’t answer / why the poems
are brutal
Less apologizing for not asking
the right questions /
not performing intimacy /
Lakota way says once
is enough / I’m done at zero
I could do less pretending
the ice bath is self-care / it’s not / it’s punishment
with Epsom salt /
the algorithm likes the lie /
I could stop feeding it
I could stop staying up till 3 AM
steeping valerian root I’ll never take / smoking hash
on the fire escape /
drinking mezcal straight from the bottle /
the worm dissolved three months ago /
I kept drinking /
does that count as consuming the sacred?
Less making tinctures for other people—
six weeks in grain alcohol / botanical Latin / dosage
charts /
while I live off popcorn / smoke /
mezcal / whatever’s bitter enough to keep me awake /
the irony isn’t lost / I’m the herbalist
who forgot to eat vegetables
Less tolerance for people who say
they’re done / then come back /
sacred number four means something /
I could honor it at one / walk sooner
What if I just believed them the first time?
I could do less of staying—
in conversations that died / in rooms
after the ceremony ended /
my lineage taught leaving / I keep forgetting
Mezcal helps with forgetting / also with remembering /
simultaneously / the Oaxacans knew /
smoke and agave and grief / same medicine
Less explaining heyoka / contrary / thunder dreamer /
to people who’ll call it trauma response /
some things aren’t broken / just backward
Would you call a river backwards
because it runs against your compass?
I could burn less bay leaves / or stop
pretending it’s ritual /
my neighbor still thinks I’m praying
Less reading self-help books
I’ll never open /
the stack by the bed performs trying /
I could try less / or actually / or neither
I pour mezcal on the self-help books sometimes /
not enough to ruin them / just enough
to make a point / to myself /
about what exactly I’m still figuring out
I could do less of this—
answering prompts / citations for poems /
performing productivity /
the WordPress algorithm wants confessions /
I could starve it
Or feed it mezcal and lies /
watch it malfunction
Less of what they want—
softer poems / redemption arcs / toxic
positivity /
I could do less of everything /
except the work
Except the mezcal / let’s be honest